1094 words
Movies are great except when they're not. When they're not, it's a travesty that they fall short of their true potential. When I go to the movies, I expect to be inspired. That's why I do it. Movies are movies but they are also more than that. THEY ARE MAGIC. Every movie could be magic if the right people did the right things. So without further ado here is our comprehensive list of movies that could be better movies.
Roargue 1 a Star Wars Story
Look, here's the thing. The story is right there in the title. They emphasized it's a story and yet the storytelling was lacking. Why is this? This is because they did not respect the legacy behind this movie. Storytelling lacked. NEXT!
ROUGUGUGE 1 A Star wARs SToary
Okay here's the thing. The characters were just nope. Nope nope right outta here. If it wasn't a sTar wARs movie then it would have been the worst movie to ever be a movie. But because it's riding on the coattails of other movies, it gets a pass. Why is this? It's because they didn't respect the legacy. A shame in our opinion. NEXT MOVIE!
Roage One a ST ar W AR RAR Wr WR STory
Okay so look, here's the thing. The thing is it just wasn't the best movie. They had every opportunity to make it awesome but they didn't. So we need to ask why. Why didn't they? Because the legacy wasn't respected. All the reshoots, probably. NEXXXXTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
ROGUE OWNE A TSTAR EHTH
Here's the thing. This movie sucked. I was so excited for it. It's our job to criticize cinema that doesn't meet our expectations. For example, Rogoue ONE didn't do that. So we need to do that. If we don't respect the legacy, who wLLLLLL NEXT MOVIE
Roogue one a STAR WWWWWW
All right so here's the thing. Storytelling is important. Story. It's all about the story. This one didn't have a story because it didn't respect the LEGACY!!! Look here's the thing: it needs to change the world. Movies change the world. They're important. Blockbusters should have the BEST STORIES except when they don't, like Roguge One didn't. NEXT MOVIE!
Rogoe one star w
Ok so here's the thing. The older movies were amazing. They were the best movies. Why aren't the new ones as good as the old ones? One word: because they didn't acknowledge the legacy that the other movies have. Look I'll admit I was really excited. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here but because the storytelling was just not there it's not a good movie and it failed. Not a storytelling movie that was a movie for storytelling which is what movies do when they do what they do. NEXGT!
ROGUE OGNE ST A
Here's the thing folks. It's a movie. Not denying that. But when you watch it, why does it fail? It fails because the legacy was ignored. Know what had a GREAT STORY? Blam Plamther. PROOF that you can do it. That movie was epic because they knew what they were doing. You hire the right people, you make the right movie. See how that works? Every movie needs to be BLaljc BpLantrer. Rougr On wasn't that so it's not what it isn't and is instead what it is. NEX TMOVEI NEXT MOVIE NEXT NEXT NEXT BRING ON THE NEXT ONE BRING IT ON UP FOR ME TO DECIDE IF IT IS SSSSSSSSS
ROGUE ON A STORY
Ok I'll be honest but here's the thing: it's a movie that is just a movie. Where's the magic? Probably all the reshoots. You know the politics behind these things. It's all the executives fucking it up, forcing the directors to compromise on their vision. The executives get in the way of __________. What goes there? What's missing from that sentence? STORYTELLING. Look here's the thing: the thing is: it's this thing: the thing is: look here's the thing: the thing is here which is: this is the thing: ok the thing: thing: is the thing: look lemme tell you what hthe thignng NEXT MOVIE BRING ON THE NEXT MOVIE RELEASED
THE ROGUE STORY OF STAR WARSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ok so the thing is here: the characters sucked. They just did not appreciate the legacy that they were contributing to therefore it failed THIS IS IMPORTANT THAT WE CRITICIZE THIS NEXXXXXXXXT MOVIE !!!!!1
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGUE ONE ST UAT
Here's the thing man: I love movies. But when I don't love them it's because the story was just not there. Why didn't they do a better job? Because they couldn't tell the story. Why? Executives. Executives up top killing creativity and originality. They hire yes-men directors who just follow orders. Like Ron Hwowarm. Bland white guy. Does the job, gets in, gets out. No originality though. Why can't they tell new original stories in this universe? That's what I want. I want that. Me: I want it. I want it because I liked before so I still want what I like so give it to me you fucking executives! I want it. It: I want. What I want? It. I want that. That's all I want. I want. WANT!!!! WANNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTT lol just getting excited why is that a problem? You need to chill out because I want it. I want it to be original and new and creative which is why we need to criticize these executives who don't know what they're doing so all I'll say iSSSS NNNNNEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXT MOVIE.
SOLO: A STAR WARS SOTYR
Here's the thing: love it. So excited. It's a character we love and need to know more about. Disney respects the fans and want to tell the story so that's what we're getting. I'll be honest I wasn't that excited when they first announced this. I thought: why do we need this? We don't need to know this story!!!! But then when I saw the trailers I started to get hype hype. All the hype. The latest TV spot just makes it look awesome so I'm all in. It looks great. Opinion totally reversed lollll 180. I didn't think I wanted this. That shot of Lando smiling is everything I didn't know I needed. At first, I didn't want this. Now, I want this. I think we're in for something special, folks. The magic is back. Strap in because on May 252552525th, we're jumping to lightspeed.