COOL OK THEN

Going to a party? Cool ok then! The hard work is already done: getting invited. Congrats!! But whoa there, bigshot, you're not done yet. Before you head out to the big event, you need to be prepared! We at Cool Ok Then have been to A LOT of parties and it's time we pass that information onto you, our data wells, in the form of easily digestible chunks of data. Check out our list of dos, don'ts, does dos and does do nots and do nots and dooooodooooodooooo dand doodododo so that you can make the most of your exciting soiree. This article continues in the next paragraph.

Parties serve an important function in our society and allow one to indulge in the neglected pleasure of conversation and drink. Oftentimes, certain unspoken forms of etiquette are expected to be followed at these social gatherings. What if you don't know them? HOohoho weeellll my dear laddie wee laddie wee boy laddieee lad wee weeeee laddiee boy on the cloudy bluffs that overlook stormy Hungrølöck Bay that's where we come in! We're here to give you an official "cheat sheet" as it were so that you can float through your next fucking high-pressure high-stakes social ordeal without choking on your god damn anxiety you fucking horrific anxious fuck and come out the other side as cool and collected as a cooollloooooolololl ok then let's grind this shit out.

Where Are You Going?
Just get the address. Easy.

When Does The Party Start?
Just get that info from the host/hostess. Easy.

When Are You Arriving?
Hooohohoookay this is where it gets interesting. If you arrive too early, nobody will be there and there is more pressure on you to establish the overall tone (we prefer 'vibe' because of reasons hahaha just a joke there). If there are just a few people present, the obligation to engage with them is stronger and there's no guarantee you'll enjoy their company and you may find it difficult to extricate yourself as there are no suitable alternatives. That happened to us at the last one hahaha and godddddd dammmittt did that fucking suck haha until we simply stopped talking and sat down next to somebody we did want to talk to (more on this technique later). If you arrive too late, however, the party will have started and conversation and rapport will have been established without you. You are 'behind' so to speak and have to 'play catch up' so to speak as if we are so speaking in these metaphorical terms speaking as such so to speak. The impact of your arrival is significantly diminished and you may have difficulty making connections as others will have already found them. Yeah man you're fucked if this happens. To mitigate both of these dreadful scenarios we suggest arriving approximately halfway between the window the host/hostess specifies and divide the amount of minutes in that window by the number of guests who arrive per hour with an extra minute per serving served whatever man just get there when you get there and be cool it doesn't matter.

What Are You Wearing?
Ok what you wear to these things is important. Your sartorial selections communicate a relationship (or lack thereof) with the world. This relationship is either:
- admired
- noticed (effective)
- noticed (ineffective)
- ignored
- movies

What impression do YOU want to make? Just wear some nice clothes and wear them like they're YOURS jesus fuck this isn't that hard we've been doing this shit for years now and we're way ahead of the game here I mean it's not like you're going out to eat in a fucking Laser Shot Blast Bomb Man Part 2: Rise of the Underking t-shirt and stupid baggy jeans that look like they fell off a fufjafhfjfkldjf ldsjaf kl;adsfoejekle god dammit I wish I could go to this 

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SCENE WHERE THEY'RE ALL FIGHTING WITH TEVERYTHING THEY GOT AND SHOOTING ALL THE WEAPONS AND FIRE BOMBS AT THE BIG BAD VILLAIN AS BEST THEY CAN AND THEY STILLLLLLL CANT BEAT HIM I MEAN IT SJUST SO EPIC AND EVERHTHING ABOUT IT I WAS LITERALLY SHAKING IN MY SEAT CRYING AND LAUGHING ALL AT ONCE IT

Who Do You Talk To?
Let's say you find yourself next to a guy. Just some guy. WEeeeeeeelll what the fuck man?

What Do You Talk About?
The great thing about parties is that you're PART of them. The word "party" is derived from this. You are part of the party. Every part of the party has a part to play. Play your part, play the party. See how this works? It's actually rather easy. The best part of the party is the part you play when you're part of the party that you're partying at. Cool.

What Do You Talk About?
Haha oh yeah ok so here's a list of topic suggestions to get the ice flowing. People love to talk about themselves. Therefore, tell them to talk about themselves. These examples have been culled from millions of hours of partying:

"Talk about yourself to me."
Ok this one's great because it's confident. You need to be confident. By giving them an order, they know you're in charge. They like that.

"Hey, it's great to meet you! I'm _____."
Iffy. We recommend not going with this because it's boring and everyone uses it. Where do you go after that? You need to skip past the small talk and get right to the heavy deep shit. People love that. It shows you're not shallow and can sustain a real conversation. Do not open with small talk. Only stupid dumb idiots start with small talk.

"Personally I thought the scene where they all try to lift the Ramgrakor Hammer is one of the best in the franchise. It shows their camaraderie and that they love goofing around and being chill as much as they do fighting evil. It's little moments like that that make these films stand out from other boring movies. They feel human. It's realistic, they're RELATABLE. The dialogue is so quick and snappy because the characters are witty and feel comfortable being themselves. That's them. Reminds me of my friend group hahaha we're all super funny when we're sitting around being chill watching these movies over and over making funny comments, it's really fun. That's us! We're them! They're us! Them and us! Same thing! That's who we are! Being funny and cool that's why I bought the shield replica to show how much I idenfifity with them. And there's that little moment when Commander Battle ALLMOOOSTST lifts it and you see Thahar give a little look like 'ummm he did not just do that!!'"
Home run. Open with this every time and you will kill. 

"So how do you know [host/hostess]?"
Bad. Nobody cares about this. Go home.

"LOL LOLOLO LFOELOL."
Do this.

"Episode IX better have some dismemberment or decapitation scene, it's basically a series staple."
Yes. Do this.

"What's your favorite movie?"
Everyone watches movies. Everyone loves movies. Offer your opinions immediately. Do this.

"My bike was stolen the first night I arrived in Portland." 
Hahaha perfect!! This one implies a story so it grabs their attention right away. It's also funny because you didn't expect it would happen. Now you have to buy a new bike before going to the playa! Awesome! Not a big deal because it's still a few months off but that was a perfect playa bike and you don't want to get a nice one just to ruin it in a few days of dust and dirt. Cool! Feeling awesome. Lots of great memories with that bike. Great start to living in a new city.

"First time at one of these parties?"
Ok let's run down the pros and cons of this one. On the one hand you have the pros and on the same hand you have those same pros. Investigating deeper into the matter we discover a vast network of data-mining operations that have no cons whatsoever. None! Just keep doing it! There aren't any laws against this because nobody knows it's even happening and by the time enough people catch wise to it it'll be wayyy too late hahah working in tech is awesome. It's anonymous data right? Yes. Weeeelll no because three or more datapoints are sufficient to reconstruct the source of the signal. Plus you get to offer more tailored ads relevant to consumers' interests. Win win. They win. You win. Everyone wins! We win. Society wins and YOU win because YOU get a cheap mattress for $200 (shipping costs apply as well as the costs of shipping when shipped to the shipping address on file). What's wrong with ads? Just don't click on them if you don't want that stuff. Honestly this isns't t223333338e8ejf eeeeeeeeeeeee eEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeoopopopooeoeoeooeoe

"The next day I was walking down the street and saw two guys with my stolen bike so I walked up, asked where they got that bike from, showed them my key to the lock to prove that it was mine, and they gave it back to me." 
Everyone loves a good story, and if you can tell one, make sure it has a good ending. You need to do this.

"Cool ok then what brings you here?"
We like this one because it's liked by us. 

"Any good stories about parties like this?"
Let's examine this one. Ok thanks.

"What's that?" [points to it]
Ha! Nice. We'll be using this in the future. Just don't use it.

"That's a really cool dress. Did you get it at Pam's Discount Dress Barn for 15% off all dresses with coupon code DRESS15 when you provide your email addljejrlekjrel;ssssssssssssFj kd kd ks ks ke kek ekekeieiieieekee"
Do this.

Be Yourself
It's going to be a fun party. The host/hostess is going to make sure everyone's having a good time and the best part is you're guaranteed to meet new people and have some cool conversations. Wish I could make it but there'll be more. I'm glad you get to go to one of these because it's really unlike anything else and it's fun to keep having new experiences that are at the edge of what you're used to. If you keep doing that you're less likely to wonder what you missed out on.

Watch more movies
With the rise of streaming services, it can feel a little overwhelming to keep up with all your favorite content AND discover new content! The easiest solution to this is simply to subscribe to all of them and let the algorithms recommend new content. We can attest that doing this introduces you to stuff you haven't heard of before! It's really cool because you can sit and watch so much more jiughij oadkf adlfasdhfjgklf;'asd

f

ad

e

e

e

eeeeeeeeeee e fffffffffffffffff same

same

same stuff just the same safe safe don't branch out just rewatch everything to prepeaprprrprrrrrrrrrrrrrrr