COOL OK THEN

Hello readers! Do you exist? Haha just kidding. We know you don't. We have no readers. That's okay though because the previous sentence is an example of the kind of thinking we're tackling in this post. In these trying times where times try to try you and make you try to find purpose in a world where the times are trying, it can be difficult to find the light thoughts. You need to train yourself to find the light at the end of the tunnel! Everyone has some dark moments but you must remember that they're just thoughts, and you're allowed to have thoughts! It is for this reason that we are typing this article. So with a little more ado, we'd like to thank our sponsors for allowing us to write this post. Thanks. We're loving the new #hardigram bottle! Couldn't believe there was a time when we didn't have it. We take it everywhere we go. Get yours today at the store, use code #utyto5hhhhjkbkgjlkv3ijf33h3klj3 to buy it. Ok.

Do the days ever slide by in a sunny slideshow of endless boredom? Do you look outside and think Well fuck it's either Thursday or Monday, and even if I knew it wouldn't matter because tomorrow I'll be thinking the same thing? Do you think that? Do you? Is that a thought that is had? You need to consider this.

How about this one? Mom texted me. Don't feel like answering it or even reading it. I don't care. My relationships don't really make sense anymore. What's the point?

Or maybe any number of these thoughts have found themselves into your lil' old brain!

• Life never really got going. I always thought the things I cared about when I was younger would have a bigger impact on my identity, or feel like they would continue to play an important role in what I valued. Instead when I look back twenty years I see a lot of wasted time.

• I'm going to learn a new skill! Think I'll pick up the humgringian. Always wanted to learn how to play that so I'm going to head down to the store and buy one! Pick up a book of basic chords and just kind of figure my way around it. I bet there are some cool tutorials on YouTube that will show me the basics. The sidebar has some other videos that look really cool. What Happens When We Drop 4 Tons of It onto That!, What would It Be LIKE if We all Did That Together At Once???, and Scene from Hurager Wars 4 But Everytime The Laser is Shot the Framerate Speeds Up By 1.7x77x66x6. Some really fun content. I'll share that with my friends and we can have a conversation.

• Don't really have many friends these days.

• Tried to take a nap but couldn't nap. Just laid on my hand until the circulation died out and I felt numb. I like that feeling when the blood comes back.

• Attention span is so bad now. I can't focus on anything and even when I try I find myself with increasing short term memory loss, like some thought I had ten seconds ago is gone. Erased. Has that been happening more and more lately? Can't remember.

• Another empty whiskey bottle. I really like this new Gardigang Rye. It goes down smooth but has quite the bang for your buck! Packs a punch. Lights a lil' fire in your throat. I purchased some special rye drinking glasses that help the flavor breathe a little bit. If you put a few drops of water at 73º exactly it will open up the flavor even more and create a richness to it. You have to buy a special thermometer that keeps detailed and granular track of the temperature. Then it sends a notification to your smart phone when it's ready to drink. This is important. I bought some special metal stirring wands that help it out even more; they blend the flavors FLAWLESSLY. You really need these. Then I bought some glass cubes specifically for whiskey. It helps with the flavor and the flavor pallelelate. I like spending money on my hobbies.

• Bought some new books that I won't be reading any time soon. I just get little flashes of inspiration, but then they go away.

• Why am I on this earth? What am I meant to do? What does every day mean? Are we supposed to make a lasting impact on this planet, improve the lives of other people in some small capacity? If so, what of those lives anyway? Why are they even here? Do you see what I'm saying?

• I used to be an artist. I liked painting landscapes in my own interesting style. I often chose unexpected colors for predictable subjects. For example, I liked to limit myself to just one color and through shade, rendering, and texture, attempt to give the impression of the entire color spectrum. I look back on some of those paintings and still think they're pretty good. I stopped painting because I stopped thinking like an artist.

• Travel was fun.

• Feeling totally detached from reality and starting to question how much I even matter. Take an honest appraisal of your place in the world. Not many people know you exist.

• Mom and Dad are really proud of you!

• Politics is still going on.

• For every person you meet, remember they know something you don't. This means there are a lot of things you don't know, you fucking idiot.

• I am always on the lookout for more relatively stable opportunities and I wanted to check in and jumpstart a potential dialogue in case you foresee any upcoming needs your team might have, however I understand the current climate has made projections rather uncertain so if you are still evaluating your current situation I'm happy to reach out at a more convenient time.

• It's true that these days growing up is optional. But I don't know if that should be a source of pride. I dunno just a thought.

• Are your various needs being met? If not, don't worry, most people's aren't. Haha.

• Projects that don't get finished. Need we say more??? Hahaha go fuck yourself.

• Guess I'm just coming to terms with the fact that no one's going to know who I am.

• Sometimes I think all the people I've hurt are constantly thinking about me.

• Sometimes I think all the people who hurt me are constantly thinking about me.

• The new season of The NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN is incredible.

• I never think about the people I've hurt.

Ok we think you get the picture, readers! Any of these thoughts hit a little close to home? Not to worry. Dark thoughts don't benefit anyone. Just don't have them. Great! Ok see you later.