572 words
“Papa?” I asked tentatively, peering down the darkened hallway and into a scene from one of my nightmares. I clung behind the corner, holding onto it as if it could save me. It couldn’t. I knew this. I had been down this road before. Down this hallway. “Papa?”
No sounds from the other end of the hallway. The light was yellow, waspish, seething in some way I couldn't put my finger on. The stirrings of terror. I pondered for a moment whether I should turn around, maybe leave the house? I couldn't, now that I had seen too much. I needed to face my fear.
I emerged into the hallway. I WAS UNSTOPPABLE or so the scene said. I couldn’t be sure. I marched onward down the planks of interminable despair. It was insane. It was so insane. I couldn’t believe how insane it was. Let’s hold up here and talk about this. Was it insane? Yes it was. But how insane? That’s what we’re here to learn. It was absolutely insane. The insanity was everywhere, that’s how insane it was! Insane! INSANE! INNN???? SANE!!!!! Insane. Sane? Nope. Insane? UHH YA THAT’S what I’m saying here man. INSANE! ISNSNSNSNASNEN!!! IT”S ISNSSNANE!!!! This. Was. Crazy. Or was it? Nope, it was insane. This was insane. IINSANENNENE. Ok so was it insane? Uhhh yeah, pretty insane. OOoooOOOOo Insane. So there’s insane and there’s insane. This was the former AND the latter.
When something’s insane, you have certain protocols that must be followed. It’s insane. The protocols are absolutely insane and they just fly all over the place. It whips around spraying insanity everywhere, it covers the walls with insanes! How many? it’s INSANE HOW MANY. Here’s an insane list:
Look up. You can’t because it’s just insane what’s up there. There are insane measures all around but mostly it’s too insane to talk about. What’s insane is that. How? When? Good questions. INSANE questions. That’s what keeps this ship powered. There are 36 total. Make sure.
There’s no rulebook here. There’s no manual. No product guide. No downloadable pdf with step-by-step instructions formatted in an easy-to-read format formatted for readable formats. You need to clean up your desktop. We take pride in our things. That’s the point of these meetings.
An insane buzzing erupted from beneath my feet. It sounded like that. Great deals next weekend, it muttered with the insistence of a thing. Great deals. Head down there. Buy local. It’s sustainably sourced.
I pushed the weird buzzing out of my head and back into the floorboards where it belonged. I pressed onward, flashlight flickering on and off. I had never owned a flashlight before and this one was no exception. I had stolen it. It was glowing with all of that stuff.
I reached the end of the hallway and stood in front of the closed door. “Papa?”
There was no answer, for in that moment I realized the truth: I was Papa.