COOL OK THEN

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COOL OK THEN | Here is that
Flart Blorsen is publishing a book
July 26 2023

1099 words

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And we’re back. Our next story you're just going to eat up and take at face value and you'll fucking love it. Actor Flart Blorsen, whom you might know from the sitcom "The Official" and the self-aware "Quest of Epic Swords," is embarking on a quest of his own. He wants to travel the world and discover what makes people happy. To do this, he did that.

Flart is a surprisingly spiritual guy. I know that because he says so. "I've always been fascinated by meditation," he says in a podcast interview that's randomly popping up everywhere for some interesting reason hahaha. "My daughters are 22 and 26 and they go to these incredible week-long retreats every month. They love it. We have a spiritual crisis in our country. I fix that by making a new show and putting my name on a book about the show I made. Buy it please. Watch the show and buy the book. They're connected."

Flart has spent the last 37gat3a months really learning the value of self-reflection. The result of this life-changing journey? A six-episode primetime Nefftix event called "In Pursuit of What Matters," airing this fall on your streaming service that you pay for.

In Gratatmia, he told his film crew to round up a bunch of sad fuckin people living in shacks and made them talk about how rich their lives actually are. "It was really amazing," Flart reminminsencxes fondly. "These are, you know, people who, by our standards, are living in poverty, but every single one of them talked about how much they like life. I knew there was something important there, so I ended the interview and told my driver to take me back to the city. I needed to wash all that god damn mud off me. Buy my book. I'm very spiritual."

Effkle jflekjee e eeeeeee eje je and what's in the book? I asked Flort Bloaren. He replied: "JHFkehaiueieeeeeeefefffefffaj ee ajefjoowwrrhmnenemm just buy it. It's about our next spiritual revolution coming any day now. I don't want to spoil it obviously, but it's called 'The Soul Is You.' When I was all over the world filming shots of me standing on cliffs, I realized you're just a soul. That soul needs guidance. Because, and I know I'm gonna sound like a wacky hippie here hahah hahaha but

we're not human beings having a spirutuatla experience.

We're spirtual beings

having a

huamn

experinennce.

B u y  t h e  b o o k  t o  r e a d  m o r e  a b o u t  t h i s."

"My travel agent booked me a trip to Nordician so I thought sure whatever. I ended up meeting a fantastic group of natives, so I made them all hold hands and sing something. I got it on camera."

Flart Bloraen has become something of a sage. He's totally done with show business now because he's learned how to live authentically. "Want me to really blow your mind?" he says in another video of a podcast interview that contains a link to his book. "Ok, so picture yourself. Who are you picturing? If you answered 'me,' stop and think: who are you? Pretty amazing right? Whatever. Something like that. I don't really get it either but that's why it's cool. Empathy is good. Consumerism is bad. Buy my book to learn more."

Flart continues talking in an edit that was made after this post was published: "Look. I'm not special. I'm just a guy just like you. We are all one. What I wanted to do with this project was use my status as a famous actor to make use of awesome resources and my endless network to leverage opportunities that you can't fucking dream of. You can't even imagine what kind of access I have to literally anything I want. I use this to show you that we are all made of the same stuff. See, I'm not important or any more special than you. Buy my book I was able to write in 3 weeks and publish without any trouble. Ok."

You can account for timeouts by batching the API calls into chunks of 24 instead of using discrete functions that fire on each iteration.

His book is better than Alan Watters and Ram Dam and Aldos Huxfer and Jorpha Camblar and Hermart Hessa and Wilaliam Jamerson, all old white males who wrote old books I don't like. Have to read it from an actor who I love from the show that I love. That makes him good. This book will be avialalbe at Barn and Nobiler front and center as soon as you walk in. That means it's a popular book.

When I asked Florat what's next for him he was quick to answer. "A revolution of spirit is coming. I swear. Later this year I'm launching a course that you can subscribe to. You pay for it and then you learn lessons by just listening to me speak them. I don't actually record myself. I hired a ghostwriter and then used AI to simulate my voice, so it's like you're actually engaging in dialogue with me. I support the writer's strike by the way. My assistant is out there protesting on the picket lines right now. She couldn't come up with any good slogans for her sign so she used ChartGTp to write them."

Ok man we get it. We fucking get it. You're ripping on an actor who has no business promoting another attempt to import eastern thought. You can stop now. Ever think maybe he's just a human being on his own personal journey and he feels compelled to share his challenges with an audience? At least he's trying to reach people. I can tell he's genuine because I bought his book and he really cares. Maybe stop being so judgmental and cynical about public figures trying to reinvent their image. Ever think about that? I actually feel sorry for you. I don't think you have all the answers either and I think you know that so you're just shitting on people trying to make a difference. He's actually on an authentic path of discovery. Can't wait to see him in Dragon Wars: The War Within. Ok I just changed your mind. Cool ok then now you agree with me now. Thanks. I'm actually in the middle of my Office Zone rewatch. I'm on episode 6.

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