1055 words
With the emergence of AI, society is on the brink of a golden age. Mastering difficult skills is within our grasp at the click of a button. Struggle is optional. As the world races to adopt this amazing technology for everything, we reflect on how life is better now. The world is perfect and everyone is happy.
Now that everyone has more time on their hands, why not start reading? Don’t like reading? Don’t worry.
Announcing BreezyReaderAI!
BreezyReaderAI is a revolutionary reading aid that takes difficult books and rewrites them so they’re easy. Just type in the title of the book you want to read and this awesome technology turns hard sentences into easy ones. For $.99 per book, MAXIMIZE YOUR READING POTENTIAL and avoid hard language. We’re democratizing reading and making even the densest literature available to the people where it belongs. It’s not fair that some people can’t read great works of art so we made this tool that lets everyone do that. If you’re against this then you’re ableist.
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yeah man i think the united states is in a good place. politically we are pretty stable. no concerns.
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We know you’re curious about how this technology works, so we’ll tell you. Trust us. It just does. It works by working the way we programmed it to. Here are some examples of some classic works of literature rewritten for the modern audience.
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Original:
Suddenly the great bow of Lórien sang. Shrill went the arrow from the elven-string. Frodo looked up. Almost above him the winged shape swerved. There was a harsh croaking scream, as it fell out of the air, vanishing down into the gloom of the eastern shore. The sky was clean again. There was a tumult of many voices far away, cursing and wailing in the darkness, and then silence. Neither shaft nor cry came again from the east that night.
BREEZYREADER VERSION:
The arrow fired. It went there. The scream happened. Sounds were loud and yelling was loud. It was fine.
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Original:
Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. It depends in part upon the myth-making imagination of humankind. The person who experiences greatness must have a feeling for the myth he is in. He must reflect what is projected upon him. And he must have a strong sense of the sardonic. This is what uncouples him from belief in his own pretensions. The sardonic is all that permits him to move within himself. Without this quality, even occasional greatness will destroy a man.
Better version generated by our proprietary AI:
Great men are great. They have to know they’re great or they’re not great.
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Original:
The word “sacred” is another instance of the pathologizing by isolation and by splitting-off. If the sacred becomes the exclusive jurisdiction of a priesthood, and if its supposed validity rests only upon supernatural foundations, then, in effect, it is taken out of the world of nature and of human nature.
AI version that actually makes sense:
There’s no such thing as sacred. It’s wrong. If you believe anything you’re irrational and need to have your voting rights stripped away.
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Original:
Case was twenty-four. At twenty-two, he’d been a cowboy, a rustler, one of the best in the Sprawl. He’d been trained by the best, by McCoy Pauley and Bobby Quine, legends in the biz. He’d operated on an almost permanent adrenaline high, a byproduct of youth and proficiency, jacked into a custom cyberspace deck that projected his disembodied consciousness into the consensual hallucination that was the matrix.
Breezyer rAreder AI!
Case was a great cowboy who hunted cows. Just jack into the matrix. Youthful and strong, he was a cyberspace man.
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Original:
I woke. Until now it had been strange, unbelievable, to wake up inside a dim cone of warmth, and to hear my reason tell me that it was a tent, that I lay in it, alive, that I was not still in Pulefin Farm. This time there was no strangeness in my waking, but a grateful sense of peace.
Our AI that we trained:
I woke up.
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Original:
He sailed a rough chopping sea above which clouds drooped and drifted in vast mournful veils. He raised no magewind now but used the world’s wind, which blew keen from the northwest; and so long as he maintained the substance of his spell-woven sail often with a whispered word, the sail itself set and turned itself to catch the wind.
Newer and better:
He was a sailor who sailed on the sea, using the wind to do that.
—-
Original:
A week went by, but no call came. Naoko’s apartment house had no system for summoning people to the phone, and so on Sunday morning I took the train out to Kokubunji. She was not there, and the name had been removed from her door.
bREZ Rader:
Naoko didn’t call me. That w
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Original:
“You should have killed me by the river,” he said, very clearly. Slowly, Brandin turned his head, as if just now remembering something. Valentin waited until their eyes met and held before he drove his sword into the Ygrathen’s heart, the way a Prince killed his enemies, however many years it might take, however much might have to be endured before such an ending was allowed.
BreezerReazzerAI version:
I’m sorry, but as a generative AI model that rewrites books for the public, violence is not permitted. This book will be removed from the database. A complaint has been filed with the Supreme Court to cease publication of the original work.
—
Original:
The horned owl may be the natural enemy of the rabbit but surely the rabbit is the natural friend of the horned owl. The rabbit feeds the owl. One can imagine easily the fondness, the sympathy, the genuine affection with which the owl regards the rabbit before rending into edible portions.
Brozer Raoder:
Forest friends are friendly friends! All manner of critters get along in the desert and forest. Working together, no one goes hungry.