800 words
The turtle is a remarkable creature. In just 15 years, you can own one of your own. How do you get a turtle? This is probably the hardest part but it's also not that bad. You can scout around your local beach or local oceanside property. Once you find one, make sure you grab it! You can do this by preparing a little home and making sure it will be comfortable. Okay let's get to facts.
The turtle can live to be 115 years old.
A full-grown turtle can occupy a lot of space. Make sure you have space for your new turtle.
Horses. Everybody wants a horse. But did you know that horses cost up to $42 a day to maintain? Extrapolating this figure, you can be expected to pay for a single horse for more than you realize. Let's get to the horse facts of the day. Make sure you write these down. These top secret facts will be gone tomorrow! I've written a script that will do that.
HOrses are powerful. They will wreck you if you don't wreck yourself first.
The horse has a mood comparable to that of an 11-year old boy. Sometimes he will be telling the truth, other times he will kick you in the face. This is just how horses are. You often need a degree in child psychology to manage a horse. I have one.
Horses can run fast. So fast that cars are measured in horse power! If you want to buy a new car, what's the first thing you ask the car seller? "How many horsepowers?" The answer will typically be either "3 or 5."
There are lots of cars on the market in this year the year of our lord. Before deciding you want a new car, you need to answer the question "but what about my old car?" If you don't have an old car, feel free to skip this section. If you do have an old car, you need to buy a new one. This section is over.
We want to talk to you for a minute about cheetahs. The king of the African Kingdom from 32CE to 552 BCE, the cheetah reigns supreme. I bought a bag yesterday and I ate it without stopping. I told myself "you need to slow down," but as soon as I put the bag down I reached for more, and I stuffed my face with more before I could breathe. This is how awesome cheetahs are. They deserve our respect.
In the circle of life, the wheel never stops. There is neither a beginning nor an end to the circle of life that circles. That means we have to keep moving. Next up on our wheel of animal facts is the platypus. I don't know anything about them.
Cats are interesting animals because everybody knows what a cat is. The word for "cat" in this language is "cat," which is different from other languages, which have their own names for it. The Encylopedia Britannicner says "These animals are the only animals who have chosen to serve their role, but oftentimes they will appear not to do so, such that, invariably, they will consternate even the most formidable of those who claim it" (vol XII, sec 33, page, 333 3,3, 3,3.333 333333 #333333 333333333333 3333333333333333333333 33333333333 33333333333333 33333333333333333333333 33333333333333 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333333333333333333 333333 3333333333 33333333333333333333333333333333 33333333333333
Did you take the garbage out?
No sorry, I meant to. Guess I forgot. I'll take it out now.
Well the pickup was this afternoon. So we have to sit with this trash for another week?
I said I'm sorry. I forgot.
Well I'm not mad, I am just disappointed.
I've heard that line before. It doesn't mean anything now. Every teen drama movie uses that line. It's meaningless.
Look you said you'd take the trash out today and you didn't. What, am I not supposed to be disappointed?
I said I'm fucking sorry.
I don't like it when you swear. I've said a million times I wish you wouldn't swear at me.
The bird is an interesting phenomenon. A creature left over from the age of the dinosaurs, birds possess the power of flight, an ability coveted forevermore by those who covet such abilities. If man was meant to fly, young grasshopper, he would have sprouted wings!
The grasshopper is a curious little insect, green in all the right ways but possessing none of the attitudes of his former species, the caterwalallauleuer. These little buggers make great pets! YOU CAN DO IT. Make sure you catch them mid-jump for they exude just what they need when you need it. If you can bring a bottle, now is the time!
Thanks.