607 words
WAVES. What are waves? A wave is defined by the shape of a wave. First: the first part of the wave. This is a literal definition so we cannot take it too seriously. After all, waves serve an important metaphorical function as well, which we will get to in a moment.
The first part of a wave is the beginning. This is where it all begins. Deep out in the ocean there are stirrings. A curious question is asked, which sounds roughly like this: “E$#3333edddddddddddd?” A wave is next. The ocean hums and hmmms and mmms until there’s enough momentum. A great turbulent maelstrom often appears at this moment but often one does not. We cannot say why, that is beyond the scope of understanding but we have some ideas haha. Soon the wave gathers more momentum. It waves goodbye to the other waves, which wave back to the wave and wave it along its course. It makes for the shoreline. That is a wave.
Earlier we mentioned metaphor. I am not good at metaphors so we will have to skip this part of the tutorial.
The second part of the wave is the middle. This is often called the “middle wave,” a clever play on the “middle wave theory” developed by Marder3atin Coaxeeisx (see more information above for more information). As the wave approaches the shoreline, it develops a fierce consciousness. It resents its nature. This is natural. This is good. But it also creates tension. What is the opposite of tension? Correct: more tension. So we have this sort of infinite tension building up. Think of it like a wave. A wave has to go somewhere, right? That’s what’s happening here. A wave exists. That is true. But existence is not enough; it must ACT. Now you see why we use waves in metaphorical contexts as well which we will have to avoid completely. So that’s the second part of the wave, the middle wave based on Nue3hhnx Apooocuue’s middle wave theory. Everyone still with me? Okay good. If not please take it up with your professor, which is me, at a later date. I will not be available.
Third wave. This is the most exciting part of the wave: its third phase, also called phase 3, also called the “next wave,” also called wave-in-the-moment, also called waves, also called wave-breaker, also called “the breaking of the wave,” also called wave wave, waving the waver with the wave, also called waveeesss wavvvves, also called waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvveeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee also called the “historical wave” (for reasons we cannot get into so we’ll talk about those in a moment). When a wave reaches the shoreline it is screaming for release. We are getting close to metaphor again here so we’ll have to avoid that. The wave must break. Fortunately, the breakers are ahead. They do a lot of the “heavy lifting.” Metaphors again. Stay away from them. But it’s true: you must stay away from metaphors. These waves approach the shoreline with a ferocity equaled only by the wave behind it and before it. Here’s where it gets interesting: this is a cycle. It exists. The cycle is here and it never ends, that’s why it’s a cycle. Think of a cycle like a circle. Where does it begin? At the top? What is the top? Oh the top right here. Well, what if I did this? Now where’s the top? You don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to get at. You don’t know. We don’t know. And the waves don’t know.