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Hey guys this is super high priority, just a quick update because I know we're all super busy and we have the big product demo on Friday. Today's Tuesday so that gives us 30 days till the big product demo. I talked to Ben. Ben Benjers from Accounting. I don't know what's going on but the vibe was all wrong. Just felt off like it always does so nothing was different honestly but it felt wrong. Let me explain. I went over there and what did I do? I went over there and did it is what I did. I did do that. It felt really good honestly and I would encourage you all to do it too.
So that's the good news. And the good news is we have a lot of time left before the big product demo which is on Friday. Accounting has crunched the numbers for us and it looks good. The numbers look good. The product looks good. Everything looks good. We're on track, is what they said. And that's not good. That should throw some red flags for you because last week we didn't have good numbers. Where did the good numbers come from? I didn't make them even though I should but that's another conversation haha. I'm not sure what to believe and I don't think you should either. I want to alert your attention to a brewing crisis. Now as to whether you want to believe me or Ben is up to you but I highly advise you to believe me. More on this below.
So after work yesterday I got home and did a little digging. Ben Benjers The Accounting Manager has had shady deals with shady connections in the past as we all know (CC'ing Ben on this email. Hi Ben! How're the kids? Haha ok great let's get back to it). After more investigation into this shady fuck's troubling activity I discovered he had shady deals with shady multinational corporations. I looked over the contracts. They don't work. None of the contracts work and what's even more surprising is they don't exist. I couldn't find a single contract. Not surprised. What does this mean for us, the little guys, you might ask? Good question. I anticipated this question and pre-asked it for you. It means we have some shade. Shade is great. It keeps us cool, keeps us alive. I mean we do work at ShadeCorp for a reason. We were very careful with that name. But what it doesn't do is it doesn't do what it claims to do for us, namely, keeping the shade away. I talked to Ben about this but he was not around so couldn't talk to him. Curious. I downloaded all this data into a database but had no idea what the fuck I was doing so I didn't do anything. Trust me though, it was there, and it was shady. Normally I steer clear of office politics but with the latest batch of accusations I can't stay neutral anymore. I've stayed neutral in the past and the only thing I got out of it was a ddeeeee33 i333333l;jdjjdjjEEEEe EH`````````````
Okay so that's the good news. The good news is if we all band together I'm certain we can take this guy down. The product demo is in 30 days so let's get ready for tomorrow's product demo which takes place on Friday at the end of this week! Very stoked. Very excited. A lot of work went into this product demo and I'm excited to show it to you next year when we demo it tomorrow afternoon after supper. Have a great Sunday guys and I'll see you at work tomorrow on Tuesday.
- Ben Benjers from Accounting