568 words
Hi Jerb Jorbernenrnrrnr,
We noticed that you left a few items in your cart! Our limited edition products go fast so be sure to fulfill your order before they're gone forever. Finishing your order is easy. Just login to your account and click the "Cart" tab in the upper right and you can follow the steps there to complete your order.
If you need further help you can call our customer support at 823-233-238929329 x28392 and we'll have a representive walk you through the process. Or we can take your order over the phone too. That's an option. We also have a chat service on our website if you'd like to talk to a representative there. Or visit one of our local stores. There's a store 323.23332 miles from your current location that has what you want in stock. Go there.
Ok so another option is that we can go ahead and add the following items to your cart to get this process moving:
1x Fast Run Lavender Shoes in Lavender (size 29.23.333333)
21x Sport Socks in Lavender Orange Sport Color (size 02.2.2)
232x Hats
134x Other Hats
239 Softer Socks for Soft Walking (size 2382.283 lRLRLRLLRR)
We've gone ahead and added those items to your cart! So now you just need to fulfill your order. Login and fullfil it. It's easy. Another option is to email us and say "add more products to my cart and fulfill the order now and add other products too." This will get the process moving now. Another option is to text us at 823-23-223-2-3222 and say "fulfill order with the products and add the extra Product Protection Shipping Plan for a nominal 283829% of the order." Just that easy!
Don't you want to attract women? You can't do that without our products! You're too agreeable and lack the dark triad traits that would otherwise make women attracted to you. Sorry man, you don't have it and there's nothing you can do about it. Just the way things are. We're all born one way and can't change ourselves. That's why you need to order our products to help you get what few women are left out there who might you find you attractive. Our shoes can help send a few women your way but honestly you're bottom of the heap so probably best to just take the first person that comes your way. There's nothing else you can do besides our products. Therapy is just pseudo psycho bullshit. Men's groups are a bunch of whiney losers. Reading men's self help books don't really work. Just a way for these authors to make a quick dime off of suckers like you. That's why you're ordering our products!!!!!!! Our products are the only hope you have. Just the reality you're living in here.
Another way to get this order going is to not do anything. We'll take care of it for you. We're doing it right now. Your order has been accepted. We've added the following items to your order:
12x Big Shoes for Big Walking (size 289292.2.23)
3939x Sock Repair Kit
38x $100 Gift Cards
89238x Things of It
2893x Those Other Ones (size 28989328gh8h83g289g8239gh239gh8982)
382899282x Products Products Produuuuccucucucuuttsss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you again for being a loyal customer. Your new products are on the way! Fuck off ok.
Sincerely,
-The Entire Product Team at Shooeooeooeooesss and Products, Inc.